Saturday, December 23, 2023

Quarantine

During the pandemic, I never experienced being quarantined as the time that I had COVID, it was during the Omicron phase and almost the whole household had it. Two years after, I managed to catch the dreaded virus but asymptomatic. Nevertheless, I had to isolate myself to ensure that those with comorbidities don't catch it.

It just sucks that I had to test positive, 3 days before Christmas and quarantine is for 5 days. This means that I'll be missing the Christmas festivities--lunch with my dad on Christmas Eve and lunch with my husband's extended family on Christmas Day. Not to mention missing the Misa de Gallo at 430AM--which was my pledge to finish to give thanks for my son's healing.

I tested myself as two of my team members tested positive. The first one tested last Monday but the day after, I didn't feel any symptoms so I didn't test. But on Friday morning, my other team member confirmed that she has it so I had no choice but to check. Lo and behold, two lines. It wasn't the same excitement that I felt when I also saw two lines years ago (e.g. pregnancy tests).

I was in the office then so I was quickly sent home and I ensconced myself in our room. Hubby had no choice but to set up a bed in his home office and the kids can't go near me. 

I'm pretty optimistic about this though. I've been running myself ragged the past few weeks with all the parties, office deliverables and what have you. Hopefully, I can spend the time sleeping or watching my pending KDramas or cleaning our room. I'm also praying that I don't develop any symptoms and remain asymptomatic.

Before my youngest got sick, we planned this to be an unforgettable Christmas as we were supposed to fly for the US last Dec. 18 and spend Christmas with my mom and my siblings. It will still be a Christmas to remember as for the first time, I'll be spending it all by myself (cue Celine Dion's song).

So for all what's worth, Happy Holidays, everyone! And may your celebrations be virus-free!

Saturday, October 07, 2023

Crossroads

My family went through a lifechanging ordeal recently. 

My youngest was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease--Anti-NMDAReceptor Encephalitis. It started with the seizure episode and it went downhill from there. As per tagged website, symptoms are as follows:

At onset, the most distinctive features include prominent and mixed psychiatric symptoms, seizures, confusion and memory loss. The psychiatric features often include bizarre and rather disturbing behaviours with mood changes, and patients are often initially looked after in mental health hospitals. They may see things which aren’t there, develop strange beliefs or appear agitated. After this, often 10 to 20 days later, patients develop a movement disorder, variations in blood pressure, heart rate and temperature and lose awareness. The movement disorder often consists of continuous writhing and twitching of face and limbs but can also be a generalised slowing-down of movements. Most patients develop several of these features, but very rarely individual patients may experience only a few of these features.

Seeing my son go through all of these was very traumatic. I felt so helpless that I couldn't do anything to help him except rely on his doctors to help him get well.

We spent 23 days at the Asian Hospital and it was 23 days of torture. It took 2 weeks for his illness to be diagnosed and another week or so of treatments. 

We were able to bring my son home but the road to recovery is long and arduous. He basically went through the whole gamut of symptoms and when we were discharged, he was on a wheelchair and could not eat or do things by himself. From the lively, active boy, he basically became an invalid who depended on us 100%.

I rely on the proven fact that recovery is imminent but we would have to be patient as it can take as long as 2 years. I've read so many testimonies of children getting better and resuming their old lives. I can't wait for that time to come as my heart breaks everytime I see my child being the way he is right now.

Now, I have to struggle with my own conundrum and make more decisions.

I've posted previously about my job which I love. However, it entails long hours and much of my energy. I'm lucky that the past two days I've returned to the office, the people I needed to talk to were away for an offsite meeting so I was able to go home earlier than usual and spend time with my sons (my eldest is also sick so I had to tend to him as well). A few months back, I was asked if I wanted to take on one of the units which my boss had problems with. But that would entail giving up my current job and moving to that team which my boss did not want me to do as he wants me to stay put. Now I'm seriously thinking of pushing it.

The new role is actually what I used to do in my previous job. The main reason why I'm seriously eyeing it now is that it's relatively light and based on what I've observed, not as heavy as my current role. Though how much I love my boss and what I do, my family comes first. 

Let's see. I'll check how I am in a week's time and if this feeling persists then will push for the move.

In the meantime, please pray for the recovery of my son.

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Parenting a Child with Autism and Seizure Disorders

My youngest son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Moderate – with Receptive and Expressive Language Delay (DSM-V code: 299.01) two years ago. I can still remember sitting in the doctor's office and the devped breaking the news to us. Though I had my suspicions, it's still different having them confirmed. 

We got a full-time caregiver for him as I work long hours. I'm thankful that my husband arranges for all the therapies and school requirements. I just show up at the PTC or school activity when asked.

It doesn't mean that I don't know how to take care of my son. 

Everytime his yaya goes on her day-off, I take care of him--whether to feed him or bathe him. I thought we had a system going on until an event took us by surprise just this weekend.

We were having a quiet morning at the grocery one Saturday. I was going around getting our essentials while my son was in another cart. Like always, he had a Tide bar in his hand as he likes the smell. However, I was surprised when I saw him covered with vomit as apparently he threw up. We thought he bit into the detergent bar. So his caregiver took him to the restroom to get him cleaned up. 

A few minutes later, she called me saying that my son looks a bit weak and that we should go home. When I saw them, he could barely lift his head and we carried him back to the car. However, I became concerned when he was unresponsive even if his eyes were open. We then decided to bring him to the ER which was fortunately, just across the mall.

Upon arriving, the guards had to help me carry him inside. When the nurses saw him, they immediately called out, "Seizure", and quickly rushed him to critical care. It was then that I broke down. 

I saw him hooked into whatever machine to monitor his vital signs and an IV was also inserted. In regular days, he would've cried loudly but in that case, there was no reaction whatsoever. I sat down with him and kept on calling him but no response--just wide open and twitching eyes. 

The ER was able to contact our pedia and upon seeing his eyes, we were referred to a neuro pedia who had him sedated. It was a long hour where I alternated between crying, talking to him and praying. I knew he was waking up when he began moving on his own. He said, "help me", when he saw all the things on him and vomited again--probably due to the meds. 

It took 4 nurses to get him cleaned up and transferred to another bed and he slept his natural sleep. From the ER, we were transferred to a regular room where the neuro pedia saw us and an EEG was performed. 

Fortunately, we were discharged a day later armed with lots of information about seizure and anti-seizure meds. 

Seeing my son go through that is just a traumatizing experience. We were told that it's not something to be too worried about as long as we manage the seizures--meaning keeping him safe and that someone should be with him 24/7.

Regardless of the doctor's assurances, I can't help but worry. When my son was diagnosed with ASD, we got him into therapy which would help him to become an independent and contributing member to society. But this impairment is one roadblock which we're not prepared to handle yet. 

I know we'll get through this and that our son will power through. We'll just take it one day at a time. 

Monday, July 31, 2023

My First Tooth Extraction

I'm nearing my 50s and it's only now that I experienced getting a tooth extracted.

The tooth in question was my front right molar which was actually root canaled more than 15 years ago. The tooth finally fractured a couple of Fridays ago. Unfortunately, my dentists aka my sister and brother-in-law have migrated abroad so I had to look for somebody local. I managed to snag an appointment at Affinity Dental Clinics here at Alabang. 

I was very early for my appointment though I assured the receptionist that I was willing to wait. When it was my turn, I was handed a hairnet and lead to a dentist chair by a very kind Dr. Matabuena. She did an initial  examination and said that I already have an infection as manifested by a pimple on my gum. She had an x-ray done and they confirmed the infection and that my tooth was already fractured thus the extraction recommendation.

After drinking a week's worth of antibiotics, I returned to the clinic and I ensured I arrived a few minutes before my schedule. 

The procedure did not take long (barely an hour). I didn't know if they injected me with a calming thing other than the anesthesia but I was too undisturbed considering I just had a tooth extracted and I even saw the tooth (I was tempted to post it here but am now sure how to hide it).

I'm now recovering from the after-effects. When the anesthesia wore of yesterday, I could feel the pain. It wasn't as excruciating as I thought (try suffering through a caesarean birth then you'll know what pain is) but still bothersome that I could only lie down the rest of the day.

I was given three options post-surgery, well four but only considering three:
1. Dental implants which will cost probably the same as my son's tuition fee;
2. Crown or bridge
3. Dentures

The fourth is to just let it be but I won't rest easy knowing and feeling there's a hole between my teeth. 

Going for option 3. 

Saturday, February 04, 2023

Be Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

 



When I'm asked by people nowadays, I always say that I'm very happy with where I am and what I do right now in terms of work. It's the hardest job I've ever done and I don't think I've worked and used my brain this much in my entire life. 

I'm also asked why I'm happy. It's because I know that I'm needed and that I am always and I mean ALWAYS appreciated and acknowledged. It's embarrassing sometimes but my boss sang me praises in front of our vendors and other senior leaders have also thanked me publicly for the work that I have done. 

I work almost 12 hours every day and not counting the time I spend to go to work and go home. I have to talk to numerous people and write countless papers where the drafts sometimes gets overhauled by my boss. I meet people inside and outside the office so I can put together the programs that the business needs. 

Regardless of the hardships, I'm still happy and fulfilled. I'm also thankful to my boss as he saw the potential in me. He did not lock me into a role based on my past skillsets but he saw that I'm capable of more things beyond of what I did. For that, I owe him my undying loyalty and I made that pledge to him while walking to a meeting. 

I still have so many things to do and I hope I will be privileged enough to see all of them through. 

Saturday, January 07, 2023

Good Fit

I consider myself as a good boss. In my previous couple of jobs, I managed to promote people and make their lives easier. I would think that up to now, my former team still hold me in high regard. Whenever people would leave, I let them go with light hearts because I know that I've given them what I can and it would give me more opportunities to develop other talents.

With my new job however, it's so difficult to find people with the skillset that I need. In the year and a half that I've been with my new employer, I've had one person leave me and looks like another person in the way. According to them, it's the pay. It may be possible that whatever they do is not commensurate to the pay that they're getting. I beg to differ though. I guess I'm just not finding the right set of people.

Since this is a new department and role that was created, it's difficult to really pin down the talent that I need. I need someone who can write well and has an analytical mind. One who can also argue and not afraid to talk to people. Since my background is operations, I know I cannot get someone from my old team so it's either I get someone from within or someone who already has the background on the products that I manage.

I can feel myself panicking once again as it looks like I'll be working longer hours than usual once again to take up the slack. 

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Sidelines

It happened again. 

Once again, I was left out from the list of people who were invited to an event. I know I was invited as I received the official notice but when they did another round, I was omitted from the list.

I clarified that I was invited and that I should go. But then, I was forgotten once again. It hurt a lot because it's not the first time it happened. All of the people were there except for me. Hay naku. I give up to think I've reminded and requested so many times. I know where I'm not wanted.